I want to share with you a confession/devotional my long time accountability partner Rick Smith released to his supporters about the experience of Covid 19. I thought it may be helpful so I am sharing it with you. He lives in New Mexico with his wife (a counselor) and some of his grown children. He currently serves at a church and with a mission organization called InFaith.org.
How long, Lord? How long?
How long will this social distancing continue?
How long will we be hidden behind masks?
How long will our businesses be struggling to survive?
How long will our families be struggling to survive?
How long will my friends be swallowed up by death?
How long will cancer continue to ravage bodies—both young and old?
How long will I . . . keep trying to eat my way out of this crisis?
. . . keep running to entertainment to numb my fears?
. . . self-medicate in an attempt to fill the emptiness?
Have our governing authorities lost their minds? Have we as citizens lost our minds? I can’t take it anymore! I’ve had it! I’m fed up!
Then, Lord, you entered the room and grabbed my attention! You switched on the light and I was exposed!
You uncovered my insistence on having my own way. I actually believe that what I think is best IS best!
I know better than You! Why are you allowing this big mess? I’m right; You’re wrong! As I condemn the arrogance of this world, I find that very same arrogance in my own heart. I’m shocked. You’re not!
I’m afraid, yet I refuse to turn to You for help.
I’m lonely, yet I refuse to welcome the warm embrace of Your friendship.
I’m lost, yet I insist on finding my own way.
My heart churns in turmoil, yet I refuse to STOP, to LISTEN, to TRUST in the One who is Life.
I am a wreck. Who will rescue me from this body racked by sin? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! Having been rescued by my Savior, with great assurance I can cry out, “There is now NO CONDEMNATION for those in Christ Jesus! It’s really true!” There’s no cloud of judgement hanging over me. His kindness draws me into his love once again; authentic, heartfelt repentance shows up and surprises me. He’s changing me from the inside out! Amazing love! How can it be that Thou my God would die for me?